Endings

[Jenny]

Does anyone else hate endings?!

In the general sense of the word but more so in the counselling setting.

In all my ex counselling experiences i've simply upped and left.. like just not turned up, left a message saying i won't be coming back etc. I can't stand the thought of sitting there and saying 'bye' to someone.. i find it awkward.. i hate endings so it's "easier" for me to just not show up. It stil hurts a lot and i have no doubt that it doesn't do me any good.. but it's how i've coped all my life so far.

:argh:

[Fluffy Flowers]

I've never had a positive or planned ending really. I have been wondering what this ending will be like.

I have a feeling that when done properly it's probably a very important process to go to, even if it is very hard.

[funk]

It depends on the endings.

a) in counseling settings
Just have had one other therapist before my actual, and there the ending came like a snail... i was able to see it. And somehow, i planned it, because it felt right to end it.

b) in general
-depends on the case, too-
e.g. I ended some friendships by saying good-bye and it was good to talk about
the reasons and so. It was an relief for both sides.
Then the cases where things didn't fit anymore: quarrels and so
- when there was a chance to talk in an objective way, i choose that
way, because in my opinion, it is better to find an end, a close.
- when there was no chance to finish it like adults, i did not end it with
the other person. But for myself i found a way to end it: i write a letter
in which i say the things i would say irl. In cases, that a person has
hurt me, somethimes it is helpful, to write the name on a sheet of
paper and put it in a refrigerator = it is on ice, no chance to hurt me.



I can't stand the thought of sitting there and saying 'bye' to someone.. i find it awkward.. i hate endings so it's "easier" for me to just not show up. It stil hurts a lot and i have no doubt that it doesn't do me any good..
Maybe it could help you to write a letter? You mustn't send/mail it, but just for you? To find a close for yourself. Maybe it could also be a question to ask, where that comes from... was there anything in your childhood, that you were forced to act like this?
(Hope, i was able to express it right/understandable.. not so easy)