What would you do...?

[Jenny]

... as a counsellor, if you really felt like yawning while in session... would you yawn infront of the client or would you try to hide it?

Is it best to be congruent and yawn, and talk about it if the client seems to notice (which i'm sure they will, well, i would!!) or is it best to try not to yawn (kinda difficult though huh).

How would it feel for the client also? I know everyone is different but personally i would have the tendency to take it personally, thinking i was boring. Knowing me i'd sarcastically (just made another thread about sarcasm!) say "am i boring you!?" and take it from there!

[TDM]

Mine would sometimes yawn and then apologise for it. I don't really like it, but I understand that she's human. Does that make sense?

TDM

[Fluffy Flowers]

I don't know, to be honest. I would take it persnally too, but also be able to rationalise it, but I do know that it could come back to bite me on the arse in a 'psychotic moment' where anything remotely negative is used against me.

I think it would be better either to compeltely hide it, or just yawn, and apologise and talk through it if necessary, I guess.

[Wanna Be Counsellor]

This is an area that concerns me to be honest. I have trouble not yawning when I sit for too long. :sorry:I'm hoping that this doesn't happen as much when I am counselling (when I've completed my training).

So.. I guess this is something that I'd need to discuss with the client to ensure they are aware of this, and that it's not boredom related.

I do think we are human and certain things happen that we can't help, hiccups, yawning, stuttering etc..

[Jenny]

Yes counsellors are human (i guess lol).. i remember my ex therapist's tummy used to rumble sometimes (i'd see her at pm on a friday evening) and i was always really concerned about her. Well, that's not strictly true.. i wasn't concerned about HER i was concerned that she wasn't focusing on ME! I know that when my tummy rumbles i get so distracted, and i was scared that she wasn't listening to me.. and even angry that she couldn't have dinner before seeing me.

Another example of something i should have talked to her about but didn't!

I think what's important from the counsellors side though, is to talk about it - be open. So if you do yawn, definitely mention it. Of course counsellors are human and are entitled to yawn but there'll be so much going on for the client in that moment too. Maybe that's personal thoughts and experience but i do think it's best to bring things out in the open (not that i'm that great at it!!)

[Old Wolf]

Hi All,
As with many of these questions, from the counsellors point of view (or at least mine as a counsellor) this would depend very much on the client. As a general rule I would try to stifle the yawn to begin with. If I found myself unable to stop it then I have two options 1)make a point of apologising and continue or 2)ignore it and continue. However, the next question I have to answer is a) is the client boring me? Is it normal for the client to present in a boring manner? or b) am I just tired? i.e.was I up half the night? If the answer is a) then I have to consider whether now is the time to "bring this into the room"? If the answer is b) then I have to decide whether to apologise immediately and risk having to self disclose or just ignore it and wait to see if the client is going to challenge me. If the client I'm working with is confident enough to challenge me I might decide to ignore and allow the challenge to be made if the client needs to make it, however if I feel the client is not very confident and especially if I feel they might take it personally then I may well apologise at the time. Basically it will depend on the client and where the yawn is coming from and I would hope to be able to use self reflection/inner supervisor to decide at the time!!!

[andyhp]

Personally, I would yawn and not apologise.

As Old Wolf says the reasons for yawning may be tiredness or boredom. It can also of course be because, as has happened to me several times, the client/patient has just yawned!

If it's boredom, and that's happened several times too, then again as OW says it very much depends on the client, the relationship I have with that client and whether it is an 'appropriate' time to mention that I'm bored.

I believe that Rogers once told a client he was bored in session and for sure the 'late, great' Albert Ellis certainly did more than once, "...I can't stand this anymore...are you as bored with this as I am?" being one example if memory serves.

Perhaps old school Freudian psychoanalysis 'a la couch' has something to recommend it after all... they are not going tro see you are they and as in the film 'There's Something about Mary' you can nip out for a sandwich too!

[Jenny]

Wow i think that would definitely get a response out of me Andy - either by me voicing it in the session (which would be the healthier way) or by me not going back. I think if my therapist was bored with me and told me so, it'd really upset me.. i guess it's congruent to say so but i wonder whether the therapist needs to think why are they bored? Is it because they have other things on their mind, can't concentrate, etc. Would it help the client for the therapist to tell them they're bored? Is the client able to 'take it' and for it to be worked through openly with the therapist..

I definitely hear that a lot has to do with the individual need of the client though and the therapeutic relationship between therapist and client.. that's so important and it's pretty hard to generalise what you'd do in a given situation when there are many different possible alternatives.

Is interesting to hear all your thoughts though, and be aware of how the responses bring up my own feelings and reactions :)

[mel]

I think what I would do is take that to supervision and try to figure out where this need to yawn might be coming from. If it is because of my not looking after myself properly and not getting enough sleep then I would of course not mention it to the client [and NOT yawn!] and get to bed earlier! Also, I would take it to personal therapy.

But if I found out that the yawning had something to do with the client, [i.e my counter transference] I would definitely bring it into the session and mention my need to yawn or my feelings surrounding that.
Because yawning does not always mean being bored or sleepy.

I think if handled carefully by the counsellor it can help create huge insight and healing for the client.

mel