Online friendships

[Daisychain]

I'm just wondering what everyone's experience has been with online friendships.

I only have 1 'real life friend', I don't trust her completely and I rarely see her. I have many friends online, most of them I can relate to and trust more than I trust people offline. Do you think it's healthy to talk to more people online than offline? I could go days without talking to anyone in real life mainly due to anxiety...

The question is, Are you close to anyone online? Do you feel the friendship is meaningful? Thanks in advance!!

[Fluffy Flowers]

I have had a lot of online 'friendships' but they have all turned out to be toxic relationships (bar one, which I'll explain in a bit). These 'friends' I met on sites related to mental health stuff and they basically found I was very good for support and drained it all out of me. It also sometimes led to a horrid intensity, or competition, or helping each other to carry out 'bad' things.

The one friend I do have I met on an animal website. She has her problems too but our main interest is our pets, and that has kept the relationship healthy. She knows all abot my problems, and she supports me if I need it, and likewise, I support her if she needs it, but normally we just talk about our pets, or just random normal stuff. It's a far more balanced friendship and it's healthy for us both.

I don't have any real life friends at all, and really, online, I have one friend. That's through choice, a lot of people try to be my friend online, but I don't want to know, and why should I. Generally those people only want one thing from me, so I just keep them at arms length. If I get close to people in a healthier way, then fine, but most of the time people seek me out as a source of support, and that's not fine, nor a good base for a friendship.

[Katmandu40]

I have 1, maybe 2 real life friends and a few online ones. I can understand where Fluffy is coming from...I had to leave another board because I just couldn't give anymore...I must try to keep things better balanced this time (have gone back to that board). I've become a bit more choosey when it comes to being a support to someone I don't really know. I feel a true friendship is give and take...you support each other and enjoy other things you have in common and have friendly arguments for the things you disagree on. A true friend will love you unconditionally and vise versa. Anyway, that's my opinion.:pixie:

[LostInThought]

I have made alot of friends online, and some of them I trust alot more than people in real life.

It's not like a have issues with making friends, I get on with most people I meet and make friends pretty easily.

I do have a few 'good' friends.... people who have been here for me, almost my whole life, people I can trust and people who know all about my issues. (well most of them)

I'm not to sure why but I think it is because I know that if I were to tell some one some thing online they aint gonna go and tell some one in my family... due to the fact that they dont know them.

I have made many friend through sites like this one, and without them I feel i wouldnt be able to cope. I feel that I can relate more to the people on line. I often feel that not knowing as much about the person helps. Its like my councillor, i trust him bcoz i dont know alot about him, I just know he is here to help.

I find it easier to talk to people on line.

[Ms. Creepshow]

I used to think I had a LOT of online friends. Until I had to leave the site I met most of them at. That was a huge reality check for me. Ever since I've been rather careful about calling people I know online friends. I guess I mainly have online acquaintances. And the true online friends I have these days are 2 people of which one is my partner.

On another forum I used to have about 5 real close friends, and I've met up with most of them at least once, but I guess we kinda just drifted apart.
I've changed a lot compared to what I was like when I made most online friends, and I'm going out more, which causes me to be online less.

Overall, I don't necessarily think it's unhealthy to have online relationships (unless of course you get situations like what fluffy describe, which I have had in the past as well), but I do think it's healthier to maintain friendships off line as well.

Ideally you'd meet someone you're comfortable with talking to as well as having fun, in a pub or somewhere near. :)

[Ressy]

I used to have a lot of online friends but now I have a few close friends who I have met in real life. I think the internet can be a great tool when it comes to meeting friends and can also help build faith in the human race and show that there are good people out there and people do care about you. I am closer to the friends I've met online than those I met 'in real life', I can talk more freely to them and trust them a lot more. I guess maybe it's because I struggle to talk in person, I tend to clam up as I think no one would be interested and online you just get to know each other and such. I definitely don't know where I'd be without the friends I've met online, they're great and I love each and every one of them. :grouphug:

[summer_rain]

I've become a bit more choosey when it comes to being a support to someone I don't really know. :

In which case I allow myself to be flattered ;) hehe.

[Liveinhope]

I have talked with many people on line for some reason I can be more open when I am not face to face with a person, but in reality I have made 2 what I consider to be close friends, one ofwhom is much older than myself, but very wise and understanding I feel I can relate to her and I feel lucky that we met, one day I would love to meet her just to see who I have talked to all this time, it can be a valuable experience i believe but also one to treat with some caution

[summer_rain]

I just wondered if anyone on here has contacts with each other by social networks i.e facebook or whether the nature of this site means it would a somewhat breach of confidentiality?

[Jenny]

I just wondered if anyone on here has contacts with each other by social networks i.e facebook or whether the nature of this site means it would a somewhat breach of confidentiality?

I have facebook although rarely go on it (think i'm too old - don't quite understand the point of it lol) but i don't have anyone from online as my 'friend' on it, even though i do have online friends. It's strange.. for me, I keep online friends quite separate to 'real life' friends.

With regards to this forum in particular, I told some people from my 'real life' about it and invited them to come along check it out. This was something i thought about beforehand as I knew i would be disclosing some things here, e.g. my own therapeutic journey, which they don't necessarily know about. So i had to choose quite carefully which ones i'd invite here!

I am quite picky when it comes to my facebook friends - there are tonnes of people from my school days who added me as their friend which i find weird because at school they wouldn't even acknowledge my existence! It seems to be quite a competition for some as to how many friends they can get! So i only add people i truly want to have as my friend.. although as i say i never go on anyway lol. I assume counsellors would need to be picky too if they had a facebook account etc as they'd need to make sure the people who have access to their status updates, photos, etc. aren't potential clients

Am waffling :brainfart:

[Ms. Creepshow]

You're not waffling, Jenny lol.

As for me, I have some online friends on my facebook. Not from this site, but from two other sites I used to be a regular at. A fan forum for a singer, and a forum of the same nature as this one.
i actually used to have a LOT of people from both those forums on my facebook, until I realised how many of them were/are actual close friends. Then I just kinda deleted a bunch of people off my facebook.
I figured, if they really want me in their friends list they'll add me again :dunno:

[crookxshanks]

ive found some good friends via the internet. its been nice to meet up again with friends that i wish i had never lost touch with on facebook and now we act like we never had that break. i have a few close friends that ive met online. couple of which evolved into relationships and then into real life and i dont think i have ever been more hurt by those 2people than anyone ever. but those that i consider to be good friends on the internet i am really good friends with and im probably a lot closer to them than i am with any of my real life friends

[TDM]

Plenty of online acquaintances, a few online friends, but not too many. Never met up with anyone I've met over the internet, but it's mostly because of where I live. I have plenty of real life friends though, so I'm not too fussed about it, but it would be nice.