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lemonne5
30th April 2009, 08:55 PM
I wonder what people think about this:

Who’s to Say?

They say that you can’t be using words
That you barely comprehend.
But when you’re trying to say something big
The rules, I think, can bend.

“I’ll call it the way I see it
And I see it well enough
This thing you call a relationship
Is gonna end pretty rough.”

“Yeah I hear you.” I told my buddy.
But what I really want to say,
Is you can keep your wisdom to yourself.
Your two-cents doesn’t pay.

That’s the way they’ll call you out,
The elect romantic crowd,
The kind who spend their money
Just to feel like they’re on a cloud.

And they swallow a costly fiction
In its capsulated form,
But the cloud’s been dissipating
And will throw you through a storm.

The chivalric defenders
Of a broken kingdom’s law
Who are told of in texts of fantasy
Protecting a castle of straw.

I don’t deny I’m one of them
I won’t hide from what I believe
But in all my daydream wandering,
In all my speculative wondering,
In all my idealized ponderings,
What have I achieved?

It’s not the kind of message
That you’ll find in a Valentine’s card,
Cause to act is to man-up to your fears
And acting is painfully hard.

It’s just one word of many.
Can’t keep you safe for long.
Neither can sitting on your rear-end
Waiting to enter this song.

Stop listening to what cruel lips have to say.
Don’t let them shoot you down.
Don’t lose what innocence you have.
Don’t start to shop around.

And now I might have said too much.
We’ll all find out on our own
How hard it is to say how you feel
When a thing can’t be said, only shown.

But I’ll reflect on the times in my own life
With warmth and gratitude
Of those who approached me quietly
Without a smart –ass attitude.

I don’t think about when we parted ways.
I’d rather appreciate what we shared
Like a spirit that grows around me
And calms me when I’m scared.

It’s more than I expected,
And it’s more than I deserved,
But I saw salvation in the face of her
Who saw Christ in return.

That’s the love I’d sit-down to learn.


...I wrote this about a month before i had a nervous breakdown. I guess its just about kindness and realistic expectations of what love is. I'm new to these forums... I should be graduating college in a few weeks if it wasn't for my nervous breakdown... I think it all had to do with my failing to be intimate and keeping in feelings. I guess by society's standards I should have a lot to be thankful for cause I'm very smart and attractive guy but I've always felt alienated from people and even when a girl would like me I didn't understand. I never had friends in high school either. I'm also very anxious about leaving college cause I have a film degree and I feel like i'm going to be bumming around forever. my faith has helped me some but now I really don't care either way... I guess this should all go in some kind of bio section but I just found this forum and this section and I wanted to share. Thanks ; )

Jenny
3rd May 2009, 09:55 PM
Hi there and a big welcome to the forum

I'm glad that you found us and that you felt able to share your poem with us.. i really liked it. Sorry to hear about your breakdown though.. how are you doing today?

Keep writing if it helps and in the meantime take good care of yourself
Jenny x

Daisychain
21st July 2009, 09:29 AM
Great writing! Thanks for sharing :)

brighteyes
31st May 2010, 02:34 PM
You had good insight into what your poem could possibly say about where you are at. Sometimes we write in order to get things out, but we are afraid to examine them more closely and find the hidden meanings. I am glad you shared with us.