Another poem

[IndieSoul]

When I talk to my counselor, it seems to me that I exaggerate my problems a lot. I don't know why it seems like I do this, but I guess I'm just afraid of sounding like I want attention rather than help. I'm working on this problem. Anyway, I wrote this poem a couple days ago to better describe this feeling.

I am confused by this
because I don't see the logic
behind my worry.
My anxiety that I'll be proven
a liar.
A petty, attention-hungry
pathetic
fake
with nothing better to do than
write poems with no meaning.
Or exaggerate my life,
and all of it's problems
for nothing more than a good story
and an hour spent to
discussing my inner thoughts.
But really, I don't lie.
I just fear that I'll make something,
which started out small,
into an incredible disaster.
This is what really goes on inside my mind.
I'm just to ashamed to admit it.
Because I feel guilty
for wasting your time.
And stupid
for acting the way I do.
I ask,
What part of this is real?

I know it's amature, but it's not like I'm a fantastic writer. One day, I gave my teacher a poem I had just written so that she could read it. It was short, no longer than 10 lines. She read it, and told me that it was a little intense and not my best. But I really don't care, because it expressed my feelings instead of just going on and on. Maybe I'll post it sometime? Anyway, here's this one. Feel free to give me any constructive criticism :)

[Jenny]

How would you feel about showing your counsellor this poem? Sounds like you're really aware of what's going on for you and you're trying to work through it.. i know how difficult that can be. Keep writing and sharing if it helps, and you're right to not care what your teacher thought! Poetry is about the self, about self expression and maybe her comment about it being too "intense" was more about her own issues! If you want to share it here I'd be happy to read it.. but its up to you :hug:

[IndieSoul]

Jenny, you are so right. I mean, she's my favorite teacher, but she could have went without saying that. I don't think she knows it, but I am very sensitive to bad criticism. I want to show my counselor this poem, and I probably will in a couple sessions, since we are discussing my moving to another school right now. I'll post the other poem tomorrow, because I'm pretty sure I left it in my locker at school :) I think the reason she felt it was too intense was because I used the word "hell" in it. I mean, I can see why it might offend her, but I do swear in my writing. It's just the way I'm feeling, so how can it be wrong? Anyway, I'm just thinking aloud to myself right now...:)

[IndieSoul]

Ugghh, I just remembered something. On Thursday, I was cleaning out my binder at school, and threw a bunch of stuff away. Well, my poem was in there :( I wish I could have posted it.

[Daisychain]

I agree with Jenny,I think it's a great idea to show it to your counsellor!

Also,I really enjoyed reading that :)

[IndieSoul]

:) Thanks, I really appreciate that. I'll probably bring it with me in a couple sessions. Actually, she wanted me to bring in my poems last week, but then this whole moving thing came up so it got put on hold for now.