Is it 'right'?

[summer_rain]

So if you read my other post u'll see the distress im in but I wanted to ask this of counselors and 'clients' alike.
I see my life as going into therapy and overcoming my childhood/ figuring out why Ive never been truly happy etc. As none of my friends are in therapy I guess they've never really got this but that's not the point.

Anyway what im asking is--- (because Ive recently parted with my counselor and am doubting things). Does counseling 'help'? or is a 'cure'... i know the answer is different for different people due to biological factors and different 'conditions' and all sorts but in my personal case... I had depression, my counselor helped me change my negative thoughts and made me feel valued... depression gone. Seems black and white really but it was like that pretty much.

Trouble is I think ive always held on it too much, its always been the 'ultimate truth' for me rather than a bunch of 'techniques' or 'ways of thinking'..... does anyone know what I mean? Cos the idea that its just 'techniques' makes me wonder if all the progression i've made is just 'positive thinking' and that idea makes me wonder 'whats the point then?'..... surely not right?

Thanks guys.

[andyhp]

You have had 'successful' therapy in respect of helping you overcome your depression but this has not answered 'something', it hasn't given you an 'ultimate truth', there is 'unfinished business'?

If the above is accurate I guess the big question is what are you hoping to find or discover?

You have 'solved' the present, i.e. the depression, are you now seeking an 'answer' or a 'reason' for your past?

I notice you say 'overcome my childhood'. If you do that will you be happy now?

I guess more counselling could be an answer. Perhaps a therapist with a different approach than the previous one?

[summer_rain]

If the above is accurate I guess the big question is what are you hoping to find or discover?

You have 'solved' the present, i.e. the depression, are you now seeking an 'answer' or a 'reason' for your past?

I notice you say 'overcome my childhood'. If you do that will you be happy now?

I guess more counselling could be an answer. Perhaps a therapist with a different approach than the previous one?

Thanks for your reply. ... I think im coming to realise that the fact that I need an 'answer' is I want a reason why ive never been happy, but im starting to realise that it doesn't matter what the defination was.. the important thing is changing it :)

[andyhp]

Thanks for your reply. ... I think im coming to realise that the fact that I need an 'answer' is I want a reason why ive never been happy, but im starting to realise that it doesn't matter what the defination was.. the important thing is changing it :)

Hi,
I do agree with you that 'what happens from now on' is more important than the past. If we view our life as a book then it is certain that what is written is written but from this moment on there are only blank pages and we can try to be 'the author' of what comes next. I know the freedom to author our future can be limited by many factors but while each page may have its 'confines' it is still blank. I have no 'objection' to exploring the past when it interferes with our ability to 'write creatively' for the future but it doesn't necessarily help if we are 'in a hole' in the present' to know how we got in there...getting out may be more of an immediate concern!

Looking back at what I've written I suppose the only 'caution' I would urge is that trying to write our future from now on doesn't equal trying to 'avoid' or 'control' painful feelings or thoughts. Avoidance and control when applied to feelings or thoughts is like using a shovel to dig out of that hole...you're only likely to get deeper in.