Swearing in Counseling

[IndieSoul]

I've seen a similar thread at the PsychCentral forums, and it got some interesting replys. What are everyone's thoughts about swearing in counseling?

I think I swore once. I'd had to write something, and bring it back to the next session. I didn't give it much of an effort, and I told her this. I'd said "Ok, I know this is really short and half-assed". But what suprised me was that she laughed when I said that. I was kind of expecting her to tell me to keep my language G-rated :o But I guess if it helps me express the anger, then it's okay with her.

Any thoughts? I find this a very interesting topic, kind of like it "pushes the limits" :)

Edit: It occured to me after I posted this thread, that it might offend some people. Jenny, if you want to delete it, that's fine with me.
:wallbash:

[Daisychain]

Great thread :)

I have never sworn in counselling but that's because I don't swear anyway.I think one time my counsellor was trying to get me to swear to get out my anger at my abuser but I just couldn't bring myself to, I would have felt guilty for it. If it helps you vent,then go for it. :)

[IndieSoul]

Thanks :) It does help, particularity now. This is because, while I was over at Psych Central in a chat room, some woman insulted me and told me that she "won't be talked to this way". I never said anything to her. The other users I was talking to told me to ignore her, but it still made me angry. So I expressed my anger there through a few words which I won't repeat. Dang it, if I want to say something, I'm going to say it :( Thanks for hearing out my ranting, though.

[shrinknightmare]

Yes, I have had counsellors swear and I have sworn but not in angry way. Once I said, I'm always in the shit its just the depth that varies".

[IndieSoul]

I think that if I swore, it wouldn't be in an angry way, but me trying to be funny *rolling my eyes now because I'm always making dumb jokes in counseling* I wonder what her reaction would be if I dropped the F bomb? Even more so, though, I wonder what my reaction would be if she said it?
:insomnia:

[Jenny]

I think that if this thread offends people then they can choose not to click on it, as it's clear from the title what it entails :)

I personally never swore in counselling. To me swearing is something linked to anger and i have a problem expressing anger so it just never happened. I do remember one session though where my counsellor asked me to talk to a cushion or something (argh i hate doing that) and tell it what i thought of it.. i was all polite, as usual. And she picked up on this and said that i didn't have to be polite.. that it was ok to shout and swear at it. And she shouted out "f**k you" or something and asked me if i could do the same. She actually encouraged me to swear!! At first i did it quiety then she encouraged me to get louder and louder.. it was horrible yet at the same time it was great!!

[IndieSoul]

Hahaha, sounds a little fun to me :) On the other forum, I posted this dialouge (spelling?), which got a few giggles- (I don't mean it to offend my counselor, but I thought it was funny still)

Conversation between me and my counselor:

Counselor: so how've you been?
Me (acting all bright and cheery): F'ing wonderful, and you?
Counselor: umm...
Me: about the same right?

I think half my reason for posting this on the other site was to get a few laughs from the other users, me being a newbie and all :)

[carlos64]

I am not a natural swearer but have sworn in counselling, often with humor.
As long as it is not aggressive or generally offensive i think it is fine, but it also depends on the accepted boundaries I have with my counsellor.

[Cherrypie]

My counsellor swore and it turned me on *sigh* I think I equated it with him being passionate!

:oops:

I don't often swear myself day to day but I have enjoyed trying it out in the room! In fact when I ever have my counsellor has often smiled at me so I know its ok.. It seems to amuse him!


xCherrypie

[Katmandu40]

I have sworn in therapy. It doesn't happen that often, well, maybe it does...but...hmmm, I'm not sure how much I sware in session. I don't think it's too much though. My shrink has sworn a few times too! I think whatever is natural for you is ok....unless told otherwise, but then I'd have to wonder about the therapist....waffling.

[IndieSoul]

I swore last session, partly to see her reaction and partly to see how it would make me feel. I asked her if she would mind if I swore, and she said she didn't care. I don't know, I guess it made me feel a little bad, almost like I'm trying to "push the limits" on purpose. I don't want her to think badly of me at all, even if she does say that it's ok to swear.

[shrinknightmare]

I think all counsellors I have seen have sworn.

The shrink referred to the Army as Bastards, another counsellor said to me, you have to put up with the shit. Another counsellor said to me "if you say to yourself, I can't fucken be bothered seeing her today, please give me a call". (This was my first appointment with her and i never went back, she kept swearing the whole time).

[IndieSoul]

Wow, that's terrible :( I think that last counselor in particular should work out her own issues before trying to help other people.

[Fluffy Flowers]

I swore last week, for the first time. I was talking about how 'shit' my care had been in the past in terms of mental health professionals. I wasn't angry, I was just trying to find a good enough word to explain how horrific it was. she hadn't sworn until that point, but then said a sentence that had 'shit' in it afterwards. I think she only swore because she knew it was ok with me, if that makes sense. It sounded odd coming from her though and sort of brought down some professional barriers (not in a bad way, just in an 'we're still getting to know each other' way).

[IndieSoul]

Last session, we had just sat down, when I heard my counselor say "where the hell are the pens?" :) It made me feel a bit more connected to her, like she doesn't feel that she has to hold anything back for me.

[Old Wolf]

Swearing is only a means of expression. In fact in many ways the words themselves don't really matter it's how they are said that expresses the force of the feeling behind them. When I was young my mothers favourite was "Oh Sugar!" and believe me that could convey as much meaning as any "F" word. However, telling someone to "fuck off" or "go to hell" is actually offensive i.e. they are going to feel offended because that is what is intended! So, if a client swears to forcefully express feeling about something that's O.K. However, if they tell me to "fuck off" I would want to establish why they wished to offend me? In addition to this the spoken word carries many nuances that the written word struggles to convey e. g. Using the correct tone etc. I can call a female friend "you silly cow" and convey a sense of fondness with no offence intended or felt. Strange things words?

[TDM]

Not with C. It'd be too awkward and as it is I feel awkward enough around her. Australia has Kids Help Line, and they're pretty damn good because you can have an ongoing counselling relationship should you so choose, and because I'm closer with my counsellor there, yeah I do swear. Occasionally she says bloody, or bastard, or something similar, but it's in context and not offending or anything like that.

TDM

[Sorrel]

I never swore until I started therapy. Started to lose my inhibitions.
Although it is usually my split-off-trauma-caused self that swears, rather than me.

[mel]

Think I said fuck bastard bitch etc but havent said the C word yet....
One day my ex counsellor said "I bet when you thought about me you wanted to say: you nasty bitch!"

[mary]

I have sworn but it is when i am mad at someone and i always apologize for swearing it comes out of nowhere. My T always says its okay to swear here Its okay to say that word but i always feel bad afterwards because i feel ihave lowered myself somewhat getting angry to that level.

[IndieSoul]

Thanks for all of your replys everyone :) I hear my counselor swear more than she used to. Maybe she's becoming more comfortable around me? It doesn't really bother me that she swears, but it does when she uses sarcasm. In real life, I don't mind sarcasm. In therapy, it just hurts. It's kind of like, did I make her mad at me? I'll have to ask her about it sometime..