Cherrypie
8th September 2009, 08:54 PM
Intuitive counselor and Andy just got me thinking.. :rolleyes:
I.C. said imagine if we all told the truth the world would be chaos.. I must admit I initially thought that seemed a sad idea to me but in reality, because human nature is to lie so often, a sudden attack of honesty on the planet could indeed maybe cause a great deal of chaos and distress.. Imagine how many secrets and lies are kept for literally years and the impact of discovering you have maybe lived an entire lifetime believing a lie or more likely several.
Andy said something about 'partial' honesty or truth, whatever that looks like.. Just a clever lie? Omitting details sounds like a kind of deception to me. A game playing term for someone who needs to be in the right. You can't technically name it a lie perhaps when you omit an important detail of the truth so the person can claim they were honest but secretly only 'partially'. Perhaps the 'partially' honest person can feel somewhat relieved from any guilt of being a bad person or to blame in any way. In their own mind anyway.
Truth seems to be quite an indepth subject the more I think about it but it does fascinate me. Do we really want the whole truth of everything? And what exactly is 'the truth' anyway as one situation often seems to be reported entirely differently by 2 people present at a same event.
I feel I need the truth from people absolutely, even if it hurts, and I certainly don't want someone else deciding what I am able to cope with and what I need protecting from. I have heard that as an excuse for lying.. but I didn't want to hurt you. Grr.
I feel passionate about being as honest as I can be with others and just as passionate about others being honest with me too. I feel incredibly (and possibly disproportionately so) hurt if I discover that someone has lied to me. For me it seems to shake every other word that person has ever spoken to me and my whole world shifts quite dramatically. The closer the relationship the worse the shift. In time maybe I can understand and I can maybe even empathise and maybe I could stay friends but would I ever trust them in the same way again? Its feels unlikely..
I appreciate however that being completely honest is not always easy, thats why people lie of course..because its the easier option.. I am not Mother Teresa... No really, I'm not..:shy: I have of course lied and as I write that I feel I want to explain why or make excuses for it but I'll refrain. I do have secrets that if I were I to be asked outright on the subject I would really prefer not to share so feel 'forced' to lie about. OMG I just made an excuse after saying I wouldn't! If someone asks for my opinion on their fat a$$ of course I don't want to hurt feelings as sometimes the truth really can hurt but 99.9% (this is an estimation incidentally and not a lie ;)) my preference is still to opt for truth despite its dangers and difficulties.
The most honest relationship I feel I have ever been in has been the one with my counsellor and that for me was a fantastic experience..well when I finally trusted it was real after much time of testing it and doubting it. The consistent honesty and openess created the trust and this is a major part of what for me makes a counselling experience unique I feel..
I am not really sure why I started this thread other than to ponder on truth, honesty and trust..wondering if its as important to others as it is to me and also wondering why its so important and if it is why as humans are we so bad at it?!
In terms of counselling it seems a key part of therapy to be honest with your client but can there ever be too much truth do you think? I'd love to hear what are your feelings about it all?? If you managed to get this far..
Cherrypie
I.C. said imagine if we all told the truth the world would be chaos.. I must admit I initially thought that seemed a sad idea to me but in reality, because human nature is to lie so often, a sudden attack of honesty on the planet could indeed maybe cause a great deal of chaos and distress.. Imagine how many secrets and lies are kept for literally years and the impact of discovering you have maybe lived an entire lifetime believing a lie or more likely several.
Andy said something about 'partial' honesty or truth, whatever that looks like.. Just a clever lie? Omitting details sounds like a kind of deception to me. A game playing term for someone who needs to be in the right. You can't technically name it a lie perhaps when you omit an important detail of the truth so the person can claim they were honest but secretly only 'partially'. Perhaps the 'partially' honest person can feel somewhat relieved from any guilt of being a bad person or to blame in any way. In their own mind anyway.
Truth seems to be quite an indepth subject the more I think about it but it does fascinate me. Do we really want the whole truth of everything? And what exactly is 'the truth' anyway as one situation often seems to be reported entirely differently by 2 people present at a same event.
I feel I need the truth from people absolutely, even if it hurts, and I certainly don't want someone else deciding what I am able to cope with and what I need protecting from. I have heard that as an excuse for lying.. but I didn't want to hurt you. Grr.
I feel passionate about being as honest as I can be with others and just as passionate about others being honest with me too. I feel incredibly (and possibly disproportionately so) hurt if I discover that someone has lied to me. For me it seems to shake every other word that person has ever spoken to me and my whole world shifts quite dramatically. The closer the relationship the worse the shift. In time maybe I can understand and I can maybe even empathise and maybe I could stay friends but would I ever trust them in the same way again? Its feels unlikely..
I appreciate however that being completely honest is not always easy, thats why people lie of course..because its the easier option.. I am not Mother Teresa... No really, I'm not..:shy: I have of course lied and as I write that I feel I want to explain why or make excuses for it but I'll refrain. I do have secrets that if I were I to be asked outright on the subject I would really prefer not to share so feel 'forced' to lie about. OMG I just made an excuse after saying I wouldn't! If someone asks for my opinion on their fat a$$ of course I don't want to hurt feelings as sometimes the truth really can hurt but 99.9% (this is an estimation incidentally and not a lie ;)) my preference is still to opt for truth despite its dangers and difficulties.
The most honest relationship I feel I have ever been in has been the one with my counsellor and that for me was a fantastic experience..well when I finally trusted it was real after much time of testing it and doubting it. The consistent honesty and openess created the trust and this is a major part of what for me makes a counselling experience unique I feel..
I am not really sure why I started this thread other than to ponder on truth, honesty and trust..wondering if its as important to others as it is to me and also wondering why its so important and if it is why as humans are we so bad at it?!
In terms of counselling it seems a key part of therapy to be honest with your client but can there ever be too much truth do you think? I'd love to hear what are your feelings about it all?? If you managed to get this far..
Cherrypie