Controlling Your Desires

[Wendell]

In breaking down all the various human emotions into the primary basic ones, I would say that the basic emotions are anger and desire and fear. I can pretty much control my fears and anger, so it seems that desire is the most difficult. I mean, I of course get angry at times, but I can "work it off." Buddhist-meditation helps, as I find that suppressing does Not help, because in suppression, the anger still remains below the surface. So I instead "work it off."

But the emotion of desire is difficult, maybe because we live in such a material society. Compare that with a person who lives a primitive life in a remote countryside of China. They have No internet, No radio, No television...in fact, No electricity. Yet they still don't get bored. And they don't have desires either, because they don't have temptations. So do they have the advantage?

Let me put it this way: Would you feel happier in such a primitive environment?

[Cherrypie]

Hi Wendell..thats a really interesting question.. One I may not be able to do jutice to in this moment as I only have a few minutes before work but I wanted to reply.

Initially I am thinking nooooo I would not be happier because right now this life is all I know.. So losing my comforts that I am used to would feel like deprivation. However were I never to have had my fleecy blanket or the internet etc maybe I could well be happier.. Actually, personally, I don't have a huge list of wants materially but just you talking about the internet made me think. It is certainly a huge luxury and one that makes me happy as I love to gain information and connect with people..but then..were I to be in a society that didn't have it and never had then maybe I wouldn't need it!!?

A massive topic in many ways really.. thankyou for asking. I shall think some more over the day I am sure..

xCherrypie

[Wendell]

Cherrypie, thank you for your response. Thinking I had introduced a good topic,I had expected to get many responses, so I feel disappointed. So it's at least a consolation that you responded. Introducing this topic was prompted by my reading the philosophy of the Dalai Lama. Have you, Cherry, studied his philosophy? I would be interested in your comments.

[Old Wolf]

Hi Wendell,
I would have to disagree with your assumption that any society of people who didn't have the material goods that we presently have do not have Desires. There are many, many desires. Sexual desire is a very basic animal desire that does not depend on material artefacts - The desire to have (which you connect strongly with objects) has, I would say, always been present - the desire to know is an extremely powerful one that has driven the destiny of mankind and still does at all levels including your own enquiries!
What I think is too often missed about emotions is their value to us, whichever one it is affecting us at any given time - they inform our conscious awareness of what is affecting us unconsciously - anger informs us that something (not always obvious) is having a "negative" affect on us and at the same time carries the "positive" attribute of enabling us to overcome reservations and fears thereby empowering us to respond and challenge the "negative". This is true for all emotions I would suggest - they keep us in touch with ourselves. Now, acting out those emotions without conscious thought and self observation is perhaps less desirable and I, who know little about Buddhist thought, would have thought that restricting the need to act them out has more to do with such philosophy?
One thing puzzles me and that is the ommision of both Love and Happiness from your list of basic emotions?
It had been my intention to respond when I first read your post but I have not had the time until now. It is an interesting question you pose but one with the potential to spread to all things human so is indeed a very "massive topic" as Cherry says.
I hope this adds something to your debate.

[Cherrypie]

Hi Wendell,

I am sorry you feel dissapointed that your post has not had much response. Its possibly because the board is still quite new and therefore not so busy at present..

I agree too that it would be great if we could all get some more views on all our topics of interest as I know when I post a thread I enjoy others responses as I feel it is so interesting to hear other peoples opinions.

I have not read the Dalai Lama no Wendell but I do hope to..I just have such a huge booklist to get through for my course right now so this is not a priority but I am sure it is fascinating.. Have you gained much from it?

Old wolf makes some good points Wendell.. it makes me think that although I may desire the internet which could be said to be materialistic..more primitive women, say in the stone age, (completely making this up of course as history not my strong point..) may well have desired a tiger tooth necklace or something!!

The 'stuff' may be different but the human tendancy for desirable items may be the same.. and also as ow says, sexual desire is surely universal regardless of what era, economic status or part of the world!

xCherrypie

[andyhp]

Hi Wendell,

There are various lists of the basic human emotions. Some list only 3 and some list up to 10 (could be other lists with more)

I guess I would say they are - Anger, fear, joy, sadness, disgust and surprise.

I do feel though that in Buddhism it is not so much the basic emotions that are the 'issue' but rather the 'motivational roots' of them. In my simplistic terms, Buddhist philosophy sees negative emotions as motivated by hatred, greed or illusion while positive emotions are motivated by non-hatred, non-greed and non-illusion. The idea of non-illusion is the essence of mindful meditation, being aware (or as The Buddha described it 'awake to') what is truly happening in any moment and accepting 'whatever is', whether good or bad, without it having to be different. In essence it is acceptance.

Hence I would say that desire, for people or things or desire to feel/think something other than what we are experiencing right now, serves as a 'warning' that I am not in this moment but rather I am looking to or wanting a different time, place or 'state'. I am either trying to close a 'gap' between where I am now and where I perceive I want to be (I want this or that and if/when I get it/them things will be better) or I am trying to open one between where I am now and where I perceive I want to be (I don't want to feel sad, anxious, depressed I want to 'be' anywhere but here with these bad feelings/thoughts). Being awake to this helps refocus the attention back to the present moment and so I return to trying to be awake only to this moment.

I would agree with Old Wolf in that desire is not limited to a wish for the material. In fact I believe it would be potentially less harmful if our desires were limited to only material things. I can accept my desiring of 'things' and even of people but I believe that the desire to not feel what I am feeling or not to think what I am thinking in this moment is one of the main causes of most of the so called 'pathologies'.

I do agree with you about the control of emotions such as anger. The attempt to control any feelings or thoughts or the desire to have or not have any feelings or thoughts (e.g. I want to be happy or I don't want to feel anxious) is only opening or closing the gap again.

As far as actually having material possessions goes I think it good to remember the words of The Buddha who said he could sum up his 45 years of teaching in one sentence, Nothing is to be clung to as 'I', 'me' or 'mine'. Now,if only I could truly grasp all the implications of that...!!!