Who Runs the Show in Counselling

[shrinknightmare]

I was recently at a session and I bought a piece of paper with all the items I wanted to discussed, and asked various questions.

Near the end, she asked if I wanted to swap places and run the show, I said sure hand me your notepad, but then she said she was only joking.

Because I would wait to hear her opinion, and say "yeah okay" then launch into the next topic. Other times she has said she doesn't mind me talking over the top of her etc as some people have told her that she is too chatty.

Getting mixed messages.

But just curious, how is it supposed to be, and what do counsellors think of people who come in with their lists and what they want to discuss etc.

I also showed her a little video on my ipod as I was discussing this motorcycle accidents, and I also show her pictures that are relevant to what I am discussing.

[Old Wolf]

One possibility is that the person who comes to a session with everything worked out and written down is trying to "control" where a session goes, what it leads too, to avoid it going to painful places, areas they are trying to avoid looking at. That's fine - this is afterall their session. However, it is most likely that it is in these painful areas that the real work needs to be done. Talking about, what I call, the "surface level stuff" is a common way of trying to avoid the underlying issues because at an unconscious level it feels dangerous to go there. A good counsellor will allow you to go deeper, when you're ready, once a good level of trust has been established and not push the client too early into those areas. You will eventually go there of your own accord because this is the stuff you really need to confront although you won't necessarily be conscious of that need when you start. However sometimes, if it feels to the counsellor that you are stuck, they might point out to you what is going on.
I trust this is of some help - but remember this is only my view!!

[shrinknightmare]

I haven't done it to avoid anything. Thanx for your opinion though.

Sometimes she avoids things. I wanted to discuss my daughter dying and I wanted to show her some photos of my daughter dead, (taken at the scene where she was found) as I wanted to ask her some questions about it and she refused to look at them. I thought if I can't discuss them with her who can I discuss them with.

[TDM]

different counsellors work in different ways, i guess. i had one who only talked about what she wanted to talk about. it was very annoying. on the other hand though, i had one that let me talk about whatever i wanted for most of the session, because she figured -- and she was right -- that i'd get to whatever it was that i really should be talking about in my own time. sometimes she would try and steer a conversation a certain way, but it didn't happen that often.

[Jenny]

I do think it's important that the client feels able to talk about whatever issues they need to talk about... I wonder whether you were able to ask her why she didn't want to see the photos? Am i right in my memory that your therapist isn't a counsellor as such but more a psychiatrist? I can't quite remember.

But i'm interested in your terminology of 'running the show'.. to me that could be reworded to something like 'who has the control'.. i may be totally off the mark here but i wonder whether you feel like you don't have much of a say in your counselling, like she tells you when she doesn't want to see your photos, the therapy can end when funding runs out, etc.

[shrinknightmare]

I think I used the term "run the show" because thats what she said to me at the end of the last session. She asked me if I wanted to swap places and ask her the questions and run the show.

She is a psychiatrist. In Australia it is different. People see psychiatrists for medications and or counselling. Her appointments range from 30min to 1hr. You can see a psychiatrist just for counselling. She didn't even bring up anti depressants until I had been seeing her for about 6 months and she also said she is very conservative about them.

You can also see psychologists and social workers, who just do counselling. I really think I would have been better off seeing a psychologist. As with this person all I do is talk and get advice.

[Jenny]

Ahh I see. Would there be an opportunity for you to see a psychologist after this placement has finished?

I remember my therapist once asked me to sit in her chair and we swapped. It was a really useful exercise to be honest.. she was talking like I talk and i got to see how frustrating i was lol.

[shrinknightmare]

I actually took her on, and said yeah give me your note pad and then she said she was only joking. No there isn't an opportunity to see a psychologist, just in hindsight for me I think it would have been better.

[Bid]

hi have you ever thought about becoming a counsellor? you may be good at it

[andrew.leyden]

It sounds as though Australia has a fairly diverse form of counselling practice, I wonder if a psychiatrist can ever be a counsellor or vies versa, In psychiatric practice I wonder if the medical model is the stronger influence whereas I would be hoping to be counselled by someone who follows a more humanistic, person-centred or integrative approach. Thats just my personal preference. For me I strongly beleive the client should be empowered to believe that they have the answer somewhere within, and with support and sound guidance the counsellor may be in a position to assist the client in moving toward a realistic outcome that is suitable and acheivable for him/her.
This would be acheived in part by the construction of a strong therapeutic relationship built on foundations of trust and by using the tools at the counsellors disposal hopefully elicit positive change for the client not 'too' the client.

There is surely an independent counsellor in your area that is not a Dr of psychiatry, check out the web, Australia is an enormous land full of diversity?

[shrinknightmare]

In Australia psychiatrists are doctors that do counselling, I only went to her because work sent me, I was actually seeing a social worker who was much better, but she took time off. I am having trouble understanding the last response to this, a bit deep to me.

[TDM]

that's odd -- because when my dad went to a psychiatrist, the pdoc didn't really do any counselling at all, just gave him some avanza and told him to take it. hmm...

[shrinknightmare]

I am not on any medication, is your Dad from Australia?

[TDM]

yeah. he's living in australia.