Do Counsellors miss clients once they are finished counselling?

[shrinknightmare]

Do Counsellors miss clients once they are finished counselling?

My counsellor brought this up recently as I will be finishing with her soon as work is no longer funding me after February.

I actually ended up counselling the counsellor and told her that she has other patients to worry about.

I really thought that counsellors would be used to this sort of thing, they know that from the first visit that you walk in, that there is going to be a last visit.

[TDM]

i guess they would. i wouldn't know though -- i'm not a counsellor, after all. but it works the other way, so why wouldn't it work this way too?

[Jenny]

I'm not a counsellor either but I do think it would be normal for a therapist to miss their clients. Sure the therapist may be used to clients leaving but I do think that because therapists are human, and they will have formed a relationship with clients it will be inevitable that they miss the client. But at the same time I think it's important that the therapist doesn't let this effect the client's ending.. like the counsellor would need to work through their feelings without letting it impact on the decision as to whether the counselling should end or not, e.g. not keep a client in counselling just because the counsellor would miss them.

[miike]

I've have been counselling clients for a year and a half now and I can tell you that counsellors do miss clients. It seems perfectly natural to me, the relationship maybe professional with many boundaries in place but it is still a relationship between two people.

"counselling should end or not, e.g. not keep a client in counselling just because the counsellor would miss them."

That is true, dependency can work both ways. Counsellors need to be aware that just as clients can become dependent on them, they can become dependent on their clients if a client is meeting a need that they have.

[Jenny]

Hi Mike

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.. it's kind of hard (for me) sometimes to think of counsellors as human beings too lol. My ex therapist told me some of her issues (yes a big break in boundaries there) and it was really strange to think that actually she was human!! So i guess it would only be natural that counsellors can get attached.. with the difference that hopefully they would take any attachment/dependency issues to their own counselling/supervision so that it doesn't interfere with the counselling process

:)
Jenny x