Jealous of other clients?

[IndieSoul]

Does anyone ever find that they get jealous of their therapist's other clients/patients? I do, especially when she gets a new client. It seems like more of her attention is focused on them because they are new. I don't tell her, for whatever the reason. I think she has about 15 clients to fit into 6 hours per week. None of us gets a weekly appointment right now! :blue:

[Jenny]

Hi Indie,

I can totally relate to this.. with my ex therapist I used to sometimes see the client who had an appointment before me, leave her house and I'd always wonder what they talked about.. i wondered if she preferred her to me.. i wondered if my therapist was too tired to give me her full attention as she'd just spent 60 minutes with someone else. I wondered if i was good enough or important enough for my therapist...

So yes, i think jealousy and concern are common (well in my experience anyway). Sounds like you're concerned that you're not important enough.. that if someone else comes along you may be forgotten or she may not be able to see you as she may need to prioritise others before you? Certainly sounds as though she's busy but that shouldn't affect the attention and support that she offers you. Are you able to talk to her about how you're feeling? I say that as though it's easy to do, but i know from experience it's really not. I also know from experience that by saying some of the difficult stuff, it can really help to work through things.. and to build on the trust, etc.

:hug:

[IndieSoul]

Hey Jenny,
You're absolutely right...saying the difficult stuff does help a lot. I've gotten a lot off my chest that I'd never thought I'd be able to say. I've brought this issue up before when she told me that she'd had an intake to see...she said that mostly it's just her child clients that tell her they feel that way. Sheesh, that's supposed to make me feel better? Since then I really haven't brought it up, but I told her last session that I worried that she liked other clients better than me. I said this jokingly as we were walking out, so I don't know if she took me seriously or not. But its not a joke, I do feel this way. Something to work on, but it's small potatoes considering the other "issue" I feel with her...makes me feel selfish because it's such a little thing that bothers me.

[Jenny]

I don't think it's 'little' or anything.. it's very important. And it may be the child clients who voice their feelings re jealousy to your therapist, but that doesn't mean that it's only children who have the feelings. It's ok to talk about these feelings with her.. :rose:

[TDM]

i do get jealous, or rather, i did get jealous. i don't anymore -- but i don't see her anymore. in a way i still kind of am because i miss it BUT i dont really want to go back because i'm still holding a grudge, if that makes sense?

TDM

[aimeejulia]

i've come across a few others that hold a grudge towards therapists, was it because you felt that she/he crossed the line?

[shrinknightmare]

Mine is a bit of the opposite, she said, to me, I am going to miss seeing you (because my work isn't funding me anymore) and then she said, but that is not a reason for me to keep seeing you, I said, well you have other people to see. It was very flattering though. Her secretary gave me a christmas card and told me that she asked her advice first whether it was appropriate or not because she doesn't usually send "clients" christmas cards, so again very flattering. I once rang the secretary just to check on an appointment and 30 mins later finally got off the phone, she wanted to have a chat. Didn't mind and the secretary want to see my holiday photos, at this rate the person I see will be replaced by the secretary. LOL :))