Clocks in the counselling room

[IndieSoul]

Originally Posted by Katmandu40

I can see the clock if I turn my head around to look...but it's not right in front of me. Actually, I can usually sense when my session is about to end.

Same thing with me when I had sessions with my social worker.

[LostInThought]

If I think back to the room. I dont even think there is a clock....

although he does often check is watch or Iphone lol

[Jenny]

I'm in therapy again now.. and at first she had a small clock (i remember this because in one session the alarm went off half way through the session!). Then after a few sessions she introduced a BIG screened digitial clock, which faced me... now i notice the clock is facing me less and less.

I personally find it hard to know how many minutes i have left of a session because i find myself winding down the session.. i don't want to get stopped half way through a sentence or anything. But on the other hand i know it's her responsibility to end the session, not mine. Although a couple of times we've run 4 or 5 minutes past the time and that's confused me. Again, i think i need to raise it with her!

Interestingly, about two sessions ago I started asking my therapist if I could turn around the clock I can see from my seat, so I can't see it. She has another facing her. She asked why I wanted to do that and I explained that it is about two things. First, I tend to be too vigilant about not going over time, as I don't want to take more than I deserve or have a right to. And the second aspect is that I will start backing away from whatever I am dealing with emotionally when I see that there are about 10 minutes to go, since I don't want to leave in a mess. I am very careful to reconstruct my defenses upon leaving therapy.

She was somewhat bemused by the fact that it has taken me 18 months to decide to let her do her job, i.e., holding the time boundary, and ensuring that I am safe when I leave the office. Guess I am a slow learner!
Anyhow, she has no problem with it, but I notice that things get a bit suspenseful for me. I will keep doing this though, because I know I need to let go of my need to control things, especially in therapy, where I still have a hard time showing any real emotion.

[shrinknightmare]

There are 2 clocks and they both have different times and the wrong times. Because I spied them once and asked her if they both had the same times. LOL

[Jenny]

Ocelot I have just read what you wrote here and wanted to say that i can totally relate.. i look at the clock during sessions and when it's coming towards the end i wind down what i'm talking about. For me it's that i don't want her to cut me off half way through saying something, especially if it's painful.

But yes i guess it is the counsellor's job to maintain the time boundary and ensure, to an extent, that we are safe when the time is up. I find it interesting that you don't want to 'take more than you deserve'.. i guess i've never thought of it that way really. Like you don't want to be a burden or take advantage?

And having clocks with different times would be confusing for me, i think. I'd probably also point it out but underneath personally i'd be wanting to make sure i wasn't being ripped off, i.e. that she was using the same clock for the start and end time so that i wasn't losing out on minutes.

Having said that i think i lose out on about 10 minutes at the end of every therapy session anyway because i don't talk as much, knowing it's the end of the session!

Originally Posted by Jenny

I find it interesting that you don't want to 'take more than you deserve'.. i guess i've never thought of it that way really. Like you don't want to be a burden or take advantage?

How this time thing works touches on a lot of core issues. Too much to get into in detail, but here is a for instance: My therapist once pointed out that I seem to want to do therapy without actually needing anything from her. In my mind, the fifty minutes allotted for a session are OK, by virtue of the fact that that is the standard. As in everyone can expect that. As soon as I exceed the fifty minutes though, I am asking for more, needing more, which is a huge no-no according to my as yet damaged belief system, and provokes mega anxiety. If it happens without my awareness because I can't see the time, then it is not my fault, so I don't have to expect punishment in the form of rejection, abandonment or being shamed.
Not hard to see why I am in therapy